Heartbeats and Battlefields
by Catherine4
Summary: Jack has everything he ever wanted. He's found the love of his life and together they're raising two awesome children. But the universe will allow him only so much happiness before putting him to the test. This is a story about how Jack, Maya and their kids handle some lifechanging news and all the twists and turns they must navigate as a result.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone. Thank you for clicking on my story. I adore Jack and Maya and I needed to do something to get me through the hiatus. I hope you enjoy this, despite the angst. I really think the two of them are perfect for each other, and that's down to how well Danielle and Grey play their characters, I hope this does them justice. If you haven't already, I suggest you read my story 'A Reason to Live' in which I introduce Maya and Jack's twins, Alex and Caitlin. This takes place around 4 years after that story. _

_This is kind of a teaser chapter if you will. I'd like to write a lot more, really get into the story, before I post more chapters. I have a lot of ideas and I want to get them down before I share more of the story, but I was too excited not to post something! I hope you'll forgive me if there's a long break before more chapters come, but they will be coming, I promise. If you do enjoy this, I would love to hear from you. Happy reading._

_The title takes lyrics from 'Who Will Save You' by Katie Garfield, the song playing at the end of 2x12 when Maya and Jack kiss on the station roof._

**Chapter 1**

Maya emerged from the bathroom wearing only a towel. She paused in the doorway. "Have the kids gone?"

"Left for the bus ten minutes ago" Jack said, tossing his phone aside and looking up. "Why?"

Maya didn't answer. She only smiled, a playful glint in her eye, and walked towards where Jack was reclining on the bed. He sat up as Maya reached him and held his arms out for an embrace. She straddled him, and draped her arms around his neck.

"Because" she said, leaning down and kissing his ear, "nothing kills the mood quicker than being caught in the act by your teenager children."

Jack smiled and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Maya's still wet hair fell across her face as he bent down for a kiss.

"Have we got time?" Jack asked, hoping to God the answer was yes. His hands moved down to her waist and he longed to rip off her towel.

"Always" Maya said, and pushed Jack gently back onto the pillows.

It was moments like this that Maya lived for. Over seventeen years into their relationship, it would have been so easy for them to let the passion to fizzle out. No one really thought her and Jack would last, and if Maya was honest with herself, she hadn't either, not back then. Her track record up until that point wasn't exactly glowing, but there was something about Jack Gibson that was different. Something which made her want to make more of an effort than she ever had before and they both worked hard to keep the spark alive.

Maya felt Jack's strong hands on her bare back as she laced her fingers through his hair. It had never gone away, the care-free new-relationship excitement that Maya loved so much. Even after she fell pregnant so soon after they got together, even when the twins were born and their lives became anything but care-free, whenever they were alone together in the grips of passion it felt to Maya like that first clandestine tryst after that crazy call on a train. It was a lifetime ago, but the feelings she felt back then were still fresh. Her pulse began to quicken.

"This is an excellent start to my day" Jack said laughing as they pulled apart to catch their breaths. "What brought this on?"

"Do I need a reason?"

Jack pondered the question for only a second before shaking his head. "You're amazing, do you know that?"

Maya blushed. "You tell me often enough."

"It's true. Believe it." Jack pulled Maya closer and planted kisses along her collarbone. Maya closed her eyes, savouring the moment. She still didn't quite understand how they had ended up here, or how they had lasted as long as they had. It took a long time for Maya to trust her happiness, but she had realised with every new piece of information she was learning about Jack Gibson that she was falling for him just a little bit more. So, when two lines appeared on that pregnancy test, miraculously she wasn't scared. She knew deep down it was meant to be. They just fit together, in every way imaginable.

"You're pretty great yourself" Maya said sincerely. She looked down at Jack's face below her and smiled.

"I love you" Jack said. He reached up and pulled Maya's face to his. "So much."

"I love you too" Maya said. She hadn't said that to many people in her life, it was a struggle for her to let someone in enough for those words to be true, but that was before Jack, and before she had a family of her own. It had softened her, but that wasn't a bad thing. Maya had always thought she had to be closed off and detached from her emotions to be tough, but she understood now that wasn't the case. Her relationship and her family had given Maya more strength than she knew she could contain.

"I will still need a shower before we leave for work" Jack said, but made no real attempt to disentangle himself. "Just FYI."

"Oh, you absolutely will" Maya said. She unfastened the towel from around her chest and tossed it onto the floor.

* * *

"Mom, I'm gonna be on TV!" Maya answered the call as she hopped out of the engine and the sound of her son's excited voice emanated from her cellphone.

"Hey" she said, slamming the door of the cab. "Say that again?"

"I'm gonna be on TV tonight. Only the local news, but still. You remember that reporter who interviewed me at the track meet a few weeks ago? He sent me a link to the segment that's gonna be aired tonight. How neat is that?"

Maya grinned. "Brilliant. Can I see?"

"I'll send it to you. Is Dad there? I want to tell him too."

Maya spotted Jack across the garage. "Yep. Just a sec."

She walked to Jack and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Our son's on the news" Maya said.

"I hope it's not in a police line up" Jack quipped.

In her ear, Maya could practically hear Alex roll his eyes. "Tell Dad I heard that."

Maya shook her head but smiled. The banter that went on in her family sometimes was next level. But Alex let it slide and when he spoke again, he sounded in a rush. "I've sent you through the link. You can let me know how fabulous I am tonight, I've got to get to third period. And go find Cait and gloat a little. Later."

When she'd hung up, Maya opened the link Alex sent through and Jack put his arm around her, leaning in to get a good look at the screen. The footage was of Alex in his school colours warming up with his teammates as a voiceover introduced him.

"_Alex Bishop-Gibson is only a month into his senior year of high school and already he's on track to take his pick of college scholarships. Last season as a junior he posted the 3rd fastest time in the state in the 5,000 metres and shows no signs of slowing down."_

Maya shot a glance as Jack. He was beaming with pride.

"_For anyone who knows his history, these results come as no surprise. After all, there's pedigree in his family."_

Maya sighed. "Here it comes" she muttered.

"_Alex is following in the footsteps of his mother. Maya Bishop won gold at the London 2012 Olympics in the 10,000 metres and Alex talks freely about how much that medal inspires him."_

"They just love bringing that up, huh?" Maya said.

Jack kissed the side of her head. "Shh, it's a good story."

Now Alex was on the screen with a microphone under his nose. He looked confident and at ease, every bit the sporting star the news channel was painting him to be.

"_Both of my parents inspire me, not just my Mom. They're incredible people. They raised my sister and me to work hard and fight for our dreams. I don't know if becoming an Olympian like my Mom is my dream or not, right now I'm just training hard and having fun."_

The camera cut back to Alex on the track while the reporter signed off and the image faded to black. Maya found that she was misty-eyed. She was incredibly proud of her son. She looked across at Jack and found that he was similarly teary.

"Man, that was awesome" Jack said. He turned to Maya so they were face to face and grinned widely.

Maya felt a warmth gather in her chest. She was so proud of both her children and the young adults they were becoming. It was comforting to know she and Jack hadn't completely screwed up this parenting thing. Caitlin and Alexander were both such kind, compassionate people, and shared their parents' ethos of hard work and love for life. Alex had channelled his energy into sports and Caitlin into her studies, but they both attacked their chosen endeavours with a singlemindedness that even Maya was shocked by.

"Yeah" Maya agreed. "I wish people would stop bringing up my medal though. I don't want Alex to think that's what I expect from him, I want him to find his own path without pressure or expectations."

Jack rubbed Maya's shoulders. "Shut up" he said, but with love. "Alex is proud of that medal. And he knows all that, I promise."

Maya nodded slowly. She had to trust that Jack was right. She never wanted to be one of those pushy Moms trying to re-live their glory days through their children. Her athletics career was a lifetime ago. What was once so important to Maya, winning an Olympic title, was nothing compared to what was important to her now. Her family and her career as a firefighter were what mattered, in that order. The people she loved and the strangers she tried to help every day meant so much more than a chunk of metal on a ribbon.

"We should take the kids out for pizza to celebrate" Jack said. "I have a physio appointment after shift, but I can push it."

Maya pulled away. "You didn't tell me that."

Jack's brow furrowed. "Didn't I? I'm sorry. I think I just pulled a muscle and I'm in a bit of pain. Nothing to worry about."

Maya frowned but let it go. Jack wouldn't intentionally keep something from her, she was certain of that. Very quickly into their relationship the two of them had made a pact to always be honest with each other. It had worked so far.

"No, you should go to it if you're in pain. You can meet us later, we can wait."

Just then the alarms blared and another call came over the tannoy. Maya groaned, they'd only been back at Station 19 for five minutes. She gave Jack a peck on the lips and jogged back to the engine.

* * *

Maya parked her car opposite the school gates and waited, casually humming along to the radio. A stream of kids filed out of the main entrance and a minute later Caitlin threw open the passenger side door and tossed her back pack over her shoulder onto the back seat.

"Alex is insufferable" she said. "Seriously. His face is on a TV show no one watches for like 30 seconds and he's walking around like he's it."

Maya laughed. She believed that. Her son was not lacking in self-belief. "He's excited" Maya said. "Cut him some slack." Caitlin huffed but didn't say a word. The twins were close, they always had been. But with that closeness came the bickering. Maya had had 16 years to get used to it. Ever since they learned to talk, they had been arguing. Maya just let it roll over her most of the time.

"How was school?" Maya asked her daughter, changing the subject. "Apart from your brother getting on your nerves."

"It was alright" Caitlin said. "AP calculus kicked my ass. I have so much homework already."

"I'm sorry I can't help you with that" Maya said. "It's way out of my league. You are definitely the smartest in the family. But we can get you a tutor or something. You know, if you need one."

Caitlin smiled. Anything her parents could do to help her along in life they would do. It was pretty amazing, actually, and she didn't ever take it for granted. "I don't need that yet, Mom. But thanks. I'll keep it in mind."

Maya looked out the window as the trail of kids thinned out with no sign of Alex. "Where's your brother? I can't stop here all day."

"He's probably with Daisy, walking her to her car or something. It's kinda sickening how loved up they are. Watching the two of them together makes me want to barf."

Ever the level headed practical one of her children, Caitlin had very little time for romance. At least for now. Maya used to be the same way. Until Jack. "I think it's sweet" Maya said and waited for the patented 'Bishop-Gibson eye role' that Maya knew was coming. Caitlin didn't disappoint.

"I think it's gross" Cait said in a way that made it clear she most definitely didn't want to discuss her brother's love life any longer. She sat back in her seat and stared out the window. "Hey, there he is." Alex was standing at the top of the steps talking to his friends. He laughed and playfully punched one of them on the arm. Caitlin sighed and rolled down the window. "Oi!" she yelled, and Alex looked up. Caitlin jerked her arm once, telling him to get a move on, and Alex said goodbye hastily and scurried towards the car.

"It's funny how you can break school records on the track but it always takes you a hot minute to get out of school on time."

Alex buckled himself into the backseat behind his sister and ruffled her hair over the top of the headrest. "Chill out sister" he said in the tone of voice he knew would wind her up the most. Caitlin spun around and glared at him but let it go.

"Hi Mom" Alex said. "Did you watch it?"

"Yeah" Maya said, pulling out into the traffic on the main road outside the school. She glanced at Alex in the rear view mirror. "You came across great."

Alex smiled. "It was kinda great. I don't really care about all that though, I just want to run."

In the passenger seat Caitlin made a noise. "That's crap" Caitlin said. "You've been lapping up every bit of attention all afternoon."

"Stop bickering please guys, come on. How does pizza for dinner sound? As a celebration."

Caitlin sat up, suddenly interested. She might be willing to put up with her smug brother for a few hours longer if it meant she got pizza. "I could be persuaded" she said.

"Home first, I know you both have homework to do. Your Dad's gonna meet us at the restaurant at 8."

* * *

Pulling into the parking lot of the pizza place, Maya spotted Jack sitting on the hood of his car waiting.

"Dad's here" Alex said. "I'm starving!"

"Hmmm" was all Maya said in reply, but by the time she'd parked and shut off the engine both kids were out of the car too quick to notice her lack of enthusiasm. Even from 10 feet away Maya noticed the troubled look on Jack's face. She'd seen it before. And it scared her.

"Hi Dad." Caitlin greeted her father with a hug and Jack blinked, pulling himself out of his daze.

"Hi sweetie. You hungry?"

"You know it" she said.

Maya watched Jack carefully. She saw the false brightness that he tried to put on for the sake of the kids. Maya could see through it, but Cait and Alex were too distracted by thoughts of pizza and garlic bread to notice that Jack smiled a little too widely and was a little too animated.

Alex looked to Maya and noticed the frown on her face. He frowned too. "Shall we go get a table Mom?"

"Good idea. You two go inside, we'll be right in."

Alone, Maya saw Jack's mask slip just a little. She went to him, ready to provide comfort in any way he needed. Jack put his arms around her shoulders. There were few things in life Maya enjoyed more than being in Jack's arms, but there was something in his embrace that made her uneasy.

"Is everything alright?" she asked. "Did physio not go well?"

Jack hesitated. "Erm, I don't know. The physio said the pain in my leg was unusual and he wanted to run some tests, I made another appointment for next week. I don't really know what that means. I'm just a bit anxious I guess."

"I'm sorry" Maya said. She knew how things like this could affect Jack. When anything was beyond his control, he found it more of a struggle to stay calm and together. "Let's just see what the tests show, ok? There's no need to worry just yet."

"I know you're right. I'm sorry, we're supposed to be celebrating, you don't need me being a downer."

Maya pulled away and cupped Jack's face in her hands. "Listen to me. You don't have to apologise, not to me. Not to the kids either. We all love you and we're here for you."

Jack nodded slowly. He knew. If there was anything in his life he was sure of, it was that. He smiled weakly and kissed Maya on the forehead and that was the end of that conversation for now.

Over the years Maya had known Jack, and certainly over the time they had been together, she had learned to walk the fine line between encouraging him to share his troubles and leaving him to work through them on his own. She felt like she had it down now. They understood each other, they always had, and she knew now without Jack having to say one more word that he'd reached his limit for now and to push further would be a mistake.

"Come on" Jack said, taking Maya's hand and starting to walk towards the restaurant. "I'm hungry."

* * *

It was late when the family got home. No one realised quite how late until they walked through the front door. On a school night, and when Maya and Jack had a long shift tomorrow it wasn't ideal, but they were all having such a nice time hanging out at the restaurant just the four of them no one wanted to call time.

"Shotgun bathroom!" Alex yelled and bolted up the stairs, and Jack went to let the dog out into the yard. Maya cornered Caitlin as she filled a glass of water at the sink.

"Are you alright sweetheart? You were quiet at dinner."

Caitlin offered a weak smile as she turned. "Yes, I'm okay. Just stressed about school I think."

Maya put her arm around her daughter and gave her a hug. "You've taken a lot on. Good grades are important but so is your health and wellbeing. I want you to remember to take care of yourself. It's okay to take a break if you need to." Cait said nothing, just put her water glass down on the counter and hugged her mother back. Maya continued, stroking Caitlin's hair. "I hope you don't think we were insensitive tonight, celebrating Alex's success when you're feeling stressed out."

Caitlin shook her head. "No, Mom. I'm happy for him, I really am. Even if he's a pain in the ass. I was just thinking about all the homework I have to do, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I'm too much of a perfectionist."

Maya smiled. "I know what that's like. It's great you want to be the best that you can be, but your best is all you can do. Your Dad and I are proud of you no matter what, I don't want you to ever feel like we're putting pressure on you."

"I know" Caitlin said, but she didn't sound very sure. But she was just worried about school, Maya thought. She was confident that Caitlin's anxiety was rooted only in her desire to succeed. She and Jack had worked hard to make sure they knew who they were as people and were confident in their own abilities. Or as confident as you could be at sixteen years old with hormones and peer pressure to deal with.

Caitlin still clung on and Maya kissed her on the head. Sometimes all you needed was a hug from your Mom.

Jack came back into the kitchen and Jasper lumbered in behind him. The scruffy mongrel was old now and stiff on his legs, but his tail still wagged furiously when he spotted Caitlin and she bent down to stroke his shaggy white fur.

Jack had rescued the stray dog from a warehouse fire when the twins were eight years old and since no one had claimed him, he decided to bring him home. Maya teased him for being a big softy, but they all loved the dog and Maya loved Jack a little bit more whenever she thought about how much he had worried about Jaspar when he was in the pound. Jack hadn't been able to sleep for thinking about him until finally Maya drove over herself and brought him home. Jasper and Caitlin bonded in an instant and ever since then he had become very much Caitlin's dog.

Maya watched the two of them with a grin and caught Jack's eye. "We're going to bed" she said. "Don't be long. And turn out all the lights."

Upstairs, their bedroom door closed on the world for the night, Maya dropped her jacket and purse on the vanity chair. Jack was already reclining back on top of the covers and Maya walked around to Jack's side of the bed. She cupped his face and leant down for a kiss and it caught him by surprise.

"Hey. What was that for?"

Maya shrugged. "I'm happy, that's all. We raised some pretty amazing kids, didn't we?"

"We did. I'm still not quite sure how."

Maya laughed. That pretty much summed up their entire relationship and everything that had happened since they first got together. They became caught up in their feelings for one another, moving from one moment to the next in a crazy whirlwind of love and passion and worry and drama, all the ingredients that go into any good relationship. Before they knew it, they were parents to two high school seniors and still as rock solid as they had ever been.

Maya kicked off her shoes and climbed on top of Jack. "Steady" he said, getting a déjà vu from that morning. "Will you let me get undressed first?"

"I can help you with that" Maya said, and kissed him again as she reached for his belt buckle.

"You're crazy" Jack said, his voice tinged with humour. "Twice in one day? I'm not sure what I did to deserve this but I'm not going to complain. I'm a lucky man."

Maya gently touched her thumb to Jack's lips to shush him and shook her head. "I'm the lucky one."


	2. Chapter 2

_I can't promise all updates will be as speedy as this one, but I'm on a bit of a roll and got far enough ahead that I thought I'd post the next chapter. Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you think._

**Chapter 2**

Before they even turned the corner, the smoke from the housefire was visible over the tops of the trees. Thick clouds billowed into their air and they readied themselves for action. "Stay sharp guys, this could be a tough one." Andy called from the front passenger seat and was greeted with a chorus of "Yes Captain."

They were met on the street by a woman who was sobbing so hard she could barely get her words out. Jack caught her as she ran at the crew and held her steady. "My son" she gasped through her tears. "I can't find my son."

Louis was seven and liked to hide in the attic. That was all Jack needed to hear before he rushed into the house, he didn't even wait for the order. Inside, the first floor at the back of the house was an inferno, but Jack barely paused to take it in before running up the stairs. He knew his team had his back, they would get the fire under control, he believed in them. His priority was finding the terrified little boy. Jack yanked open doors until he found the stairs to the attic. The fire hadn't yet reached this part of the house, but Jack knew from experience it was only a matter of time.

"Louis!" Jack yelled. His breathing apparatus distorted his voice. "Are you up here? Call out."

Behind him, Miller climbed the stairs too and they both moved slowly into the room. It was piled high with boxes and assorted pieces of furniture. The perfect place to play hide and seek. "Louis, come out buddy." Dean joined Jack in the hunt.

"Guys, have you found the kid? This fire's spreading, you need to get out of there." Maya's voice reached them over the radio and Jack's adrenaline started pumping.

"Still looking."

Above the crackle of their radios and the sounds of shouting coming up from the floors below, Jack and Dean both heard a noise. In the corner, a box toppled to the floor to reveal a frightened pair of eyes peering out from behind.

"Hey buddy." Dean smiled at the child and reached a hand towards him. The kid shrank further into the corner.

"Miller, we've got to go" Jack whispered and Dean nodded, but he didn't take his eyes from the boy.

"Louis, your Mom's waiting for you outside. She's pretty worried about you. Do you think you can come out of there and come downstairs with me?"

"It's hot" he said in a small voice.

"I know, but we can go together, it will be alright." The child stood up tentatively and shuffled from his hiding spot. "That's it, good job." Dean's hand was still outstretched. When Louis was close enough to touch Dean's glove, Dean lifted him into his arms.

"Go" Jack said, ushering his colleague past him. "I'm right behind you."

On the landing at the bottom of the stairs, Montgomery and rookie Cartwright were there to meet them.

"We've got the kid" Travis said into his radio. "We're coming out."

Jack's heart was still pounding. He knew the fire was not yet contained, and now the child was in safe hands, extinguishing the flames was the priority. He adjusted his helmet and made for the stairs. He was half way down when his leg seized up. He wasn't sure if it was the intense pain or the inability to move his leg that came first, but he let out a yell before he lost his footing and tumbled down the rest of the flight of stairs. He landed in a heap against the door frame and immediately knew something was wrong. "Ah, shit." He gripped his leg in a futile attempt to get it moving.

Dean turned when he heard the thud, little Louis still in his arms, and looked in alarm at Jack, his body twisted at an unnatural angle and his face twisted in pain. "Gibson!"

Travis also turned and wasted no time running to Jack's aid. "Get the kid to safety" he said to Dean. "Cartwright, get over here."

Robyn Cartwright didn't waste any time either and ran back up the stairs to the first floor two at a time. Dean shot a look over his shoulder as he made his way down, hoping for a clear exit into daylight.

"Fire's almost under control." Maya's voice came through the radio. "Guy's, what's going on up there?"

For the moment Travis ignored the question and crouched down beside Jack. "Gibson, are you alright? Can you get up?"

Jack shook his head, his face contorted into a grimace. He clutched his leg and took a deep breath, trying to stay on top of his pain. "It's my leg, I don't know what happened."

"Gibson's down" Travis said into his radio at last. "Requesting assistance on the second floor landing."

* * *

Maya wiped soot from her face with the back of her hand. The fire was out and the rush was beginning to subside. But the job wasn't over. Jack was injured, that's all she knew. She didn't know how or why but was trying to stay calm. When he emerged through the front door on a stretched wielded by Miller and Montgomery, she ran to him.

"Baby, what happened?" she asked, placing a hand on Jack's head. He was in too much pain to answer. She followed the three men to the aid car in silence. The butterflies in her stomach were out in full force.

Montgomery took his stethoscope out of his ears. "I'm not sure. I don't think it's broken. Gibson, did you trip?" Jack shook his head but he couldn't speak. "Ok, let's get you in the aid car then we can give you something for the pain."

Montgomery hooked Jack up to oxygen and Cartwright began to prepare some pain relief. Maya sat down, the fire forgotten. Her team would put it out, she had the utmost faith in that. She reached across, careful to not get in her colleague's way. She could see on Jack's face how much pain he was in and how hard he was fighting to stay still and stay calm. She watched as Robyn plunged the needle into Jack's arm and almost immediately, he began to relax.

After a minute Jack pulled the oxygen mask away from his face and attempted to smile at Maya. "I feel like such an idiot" he said. "I'm sorry I gave you a scare."

"Don't be silly."

"I didn't trip" he said. As much pain as he was in, Jack felt important to make that clear. "I felt a sudden pain in my leg, that's why I fell."

Maya rubbed Jack's arm above where the IV line was inserted. "Don't worry about that now, they'll check you out at the hospital and figure it out."

"Gibson, you alright?"

Little Louis safely delivered back to his mother virtually unscathed, Miller was back to check on his friend and former roommate. He stuck his head into the back of the aid car.

"Great" Jack said. The morphine had started to kick in, so what was a searing pain had now morphed into a dull ache, but he felt embarrassed. He'd fallen down the stairs. He didn't feel like he deserved all this fuss.

"We're ready to go to Grey Sloane" Travis said, standing up. "Maya, you coming?"

"Of course I am" she said. She smiled at Jack. His face was pink, and she didn't think it was because of the fire. She found his embarrassment endearing, but she'd never tell him that. Instead she gave his arm a squeeze and buckled herself in.

"We'll come check up on you at the hospital" Dean said.

As Travis jumped out and slammed the back doors, Jack covered his face with his arm. "You really don't have to do that."

* * *

When a first responder got injured on the job, everyone in the emergency room of a hospital rallied and gave that extra little bit of effort to care for them. Jack was proud of that. Whenever one of his friends or colleagues got hurt, he loved the doctors and nurses for giving them the best care possible. But now it was himself, and in less than heroic circumstances at that, he wished the medical staff weren't quite so eager. There were real patients here, he wanted to tell them. Go and save them.

Maya stood by his bed in his cubicle still in her turnout gear. "How are you feeling? Are you still in pain?"

Jack shook his head and sighed. "No. I'm mostly just embarrassed. It was probably just cramp, I don't feel like I deserve all this fuss."

Maya looked at him with gentle sympathy. She recognised that laughing and joking at this stage was not what Jack needed. He's probably get enough of that from Miller and the rest of the team when they got to see him, he didn't need it from her.

"The kids get out of school soon, I'll give them a call."

Jack groaned. "No, you don't have to call them. Alex has track practice and I'm sure Caitlin has a mountain of homework."

Maya raised an eyebrow and gave Jack a pointed look. She didn't even need to say anything.

"I know, I know. No secrets. At least wait until I'm upstairs and we know what the hell is going on."

"Fine" Maya conceded. "But I am calling them."

The curtain opened and Dr Lincoln came in, closing it behind him again. "Gibson!" he said with his trademark grin spread across his face. "What happened to you?"

Jack had spent many a night down the pub with the head of ortho, he liked Link's optimistic manner and infectious joy, but right now he would have rather a first year resident do his workup, rather than his friend.

"Don't make me tell the story again" Jack said. And for the first time since the accident, he laughed.

Link gave a theatrical grimace. "Yeah, sounds a bit embarrassing to me." He winked, then he was all business. "Listen, the good news is I don't think it's fractured, but they paged me down just to make sure. I'd like to take a couple of x-rays to see what's really going on. I'm sorry radiology has been a bit backed up, but they should be ready for you by the time we get you up there."

* * *

"Dad!"

Alex and Caitlin both rushed into the room at once, breathless. As promised, Maya called them only when Jack was settled on the ward, although they didn't yet have an idea about what was wrong. He was still on a high dose of painkillers, he felt a little bit like he'd downed half a bottle of scotch, but he was lucid enough to be sitting up in bed, his leg straight out in front of him bound in a splint as a precaution.

"Hey you two" he said, smiling. It wasn't forced, he was always genuinely happy to see his children. "Your Mom just went to the bathroom. How was school?"

Caitlin ignored Jack's question and threw her arms around his neck. "I was so worried" she said, her voice muffled by Jack's hospital gown.

Jack hugged her back, and kissed the top of her head. "I'm alright sweetie" he said. "I had an accident, that's all. It happens."

Alex dumped his gym bag on a chair and walked around to the opposite side of the bed from his sister. "Mom said there's something wrong with your leg. What did the doctors say?"

"I've not got my x-rays back yet, we'll know soon. These painkillers are nice though. I definitely needed them."

Alex looked genuinely gutted for his father. "That sucks Dad, I'm sorry."

"You didn't need to come" Jack said.

"Are you trying to get rid of us?" Alex quipped, but it was rather half-hearted. It made Jack smile anyway and for that he was thankful.

"Never. But don't you have track practice?"

Alex shrugged. "Coach won't mind. I'm in his good books after my interview. I think he'll let me miss one practice. Besides, I have a pretty good excuse."

Finally, Caitlin released her Dad and stood up. "What happened?"

"I just got cramp in my leg or something and I fell down the stairs. That's all. It wasn't even that dramatic. There was a housefire and I was in the attic looking for a missing child, and on the way out, I toppled down the stairs like a dumbass."

A giggle escaped Caitlin's mouth and she immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle it. "I'm sorry" she said with horror. "I didn't mean to laugh."

There was something about the look of horror on his daughter's face that made Jack want to start laughing too. Pretty soon all three of them had the giggles and none of them noticed Maya enter the room. She shook her head at the sight of her family doubled over with laughter and a smile spread across her face too. It really was infectious.

"You've all gone loopy" she said, closing the door. To Jack she said, "I guess you're feeling better?"

Jack wiped the tears from his eyes. "I think the drugs have made me delirious. I don't know what their excuse is."

Alex got a hold of himself. "Hi Mom. Sorry."

Maya hugged her son on the way to Jack's bed. "Don't be. Laughter is a good distraction." She gave Jack a peck on the lips and sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked up at Alex. "Daisy's still out in the corridor. She asked me to ask you if you want a lift to the track."

"You made your girlfriend drive all the way over here?" Jack said and shook his head. "Buddy…"

"Well, if you'd let me get my licence, I wouldn't have to bum lifts off her all the time, would I?" Both Jack and Maya glared at their son. Now wasn't the time for the car argument, not even close. "She said she didn't mind. She knew how worried we were about you."

"I appreciate it, son. But you can't keep her waiting all day."

"I'll tell her she can go home" he said, and made for the door. Jack caught him by the wrist.

"That's not what I meant. You should go to practice. I promise we'll call when I've seen the doctor and got more news."

Alex looked back at his father and reluctantly nodded his head. "Alright. But let the record show I'm not happy about it."

"Noted" Jack said. "Tell Daisy I said hi."

Alex kissed Maya on the cheek on his way passed and in the doorway, he turned to look pointedly at his parents. "Promise you'll call" he said, and meant it.

"We will" Maya and Jack both said together.

Caitlin stood up straight and folded her arms. "Well, I'm not leaving" she said in a tone of voice that dared Jack and Maya to argue. But argue they did. She was her parents' daughter after all.

"Caitie, you should go with Alex and Daisy. Your father needs some rest." Maya smiled at her daughter hoping the teenager wouldn't hate her for effectively throwing her out, but something in Maya and Jack's faces must have spoken to Caitlin and she dropped her head in resignation.

"Fine."

"I love you sweetie" Jack said. "Some and give your dad a kiss." Caitlin obliged and threw her arms around Jack again just as she had when she came in.

"Come on sis" Alex said. "You can be my cheerleader."

* * *

The second Link came into the room clutching his x-ray films in a brown paper envelope, Jack got a funny feeling in his gut. Link was making the effort to be as positive as ever, but his mask had slipped. Only a little bit, but enough for Jack to realise something wasn't quite right.

"Hey doc" Jack said, heaving himself up into a sitting position with some effort. His head was throbbing, and the pain meds were beginning to wear off a little. Maya was sat beside the bed, her hand resting on Jack's good leg.

"Hi Jack, Maya" Link said. He closed the door. "Did I see Caitlin and Alex wandering the corridors out there a while ago?"

"We'd had enough of them and sent them away" Maya said. She tried to crack a joke but her heart wasn't in it and it fell flat. She ran her hand through her hair nervously. She could also sense that something was up with Link's mannerisms and she glanced quickly to Jack, seeing a concerned expression on his face that mirrored her own.

"What is it Link?" Jack asked. "How bad is it?"

Dr Lincoln took a deep breath. "Have you been having any problems with your leg before?"

"Yeah, as it happens. It's been a bit painful. I thought I just pulled a muscle. I went to see a physio but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. It has never seized up like it did though."

Link nodded slowly, absorbing this information. Maya sat bolt upright, her full focus on what the doctor was saying. Atticus Lincoln was their friend, but right now he was just another medical doctor in a white coat delivering what Maya was sure would turn out to be bad news. The intensity of her focus was not lost on Link and he swallowed. He was used to delivering news of this nature to people, but it was always harder when it was someone you knew.

Jack was too worried to speak. Subconsciously, he took Maya's hand and their fingers intertwined. Neither of them took their eyes off Link.

"Jack, your x-ray shows a mass on your left tibia. We'll need to take a biopsy and run some tests before we know what it is."

"A… A mass? You mean a tumour?"

That was Maya, she found her voice. Jack was aware of her grip on his hand tightening but if she was causing him pain, he didn't notice. He just stared at the doctor without really seeing him, but was aware of Link giving one perceptible nod. Jack's head was swimming and he felt bile rise up in his throat. He swallowed it down, and made every effort to keep his voice steady when he uttered the one word no one ever wants to hear.

"Could it be cancer?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The immediate plan was laid out in front of them, but Jack and Maya could barely register what was being said. Link would go in and take a biopsy, it was a relatively minor procedure, then they would wait for the test results that would tell them if the tumour was benign or malignant. That would determine how they moved forward. He left quietly, promising to give them some time to let them get used to this news, and then Maya and Jack were alone.

Maya sat back down on the edge of the bed and held Jack's arm. "Talk to me, baby. What are you thinking?"

It had always made Maya nervous when Jack did his quiet thing. She never wanted him to go back to the dark place he sank into all those years ago after the office building fire when PTSD threatened to overwhelm him. It was the root of their honesty pact, and why they made such a big deal to the kids about talking about their feelings. If ever there was a time that Jack deserved a pass, it was now, but Maya couldn't help herself. She wanted to catch Jack before he sunk again.

Jack turned to her, his face blank. He blinked a few times, trying to order his thoughts, and when he spoke his voice was surprisingly calm and steady. "I'm thinking we shouldn't panic" he said, but inside that's exactly what Jack was doing. But the look Maya was giving him was absolutely one of panic, so he kissed her hand and beckoned her closer. "We should wait for the news, and whether it's good or bad we should deal with it then."

Maya nodded. She knew Jack was right, but that didn't mean she would stop worrying about him. "How are you so calm?" she asked.

"I'm pretty doped up right now, it must be all the meds." Jack's joke elicited a smile from Maya and Jack smiled too. He was scared, he wouldn't deny that, but he was trying his best to stay on top of his feelings and seeing Maya smile definitely helped.

"Do you think we should tell the kids?" Maya's brow furrowed as she asked the question and Jack thought he knew why.

"I think so. I can't ask you to lie, you're the one that has to spend the evening with them."

"We can't ask them to come all the way back here" Maya said. "Would you like me to tell them at home?"

Jack nodded, but felt guilty for placing the burden on Maya. "Would you? I'm sorry."

"Of course." Maya rubbed Jack's arm. "Anything."

"Look, if the tests do reveal something tomorrow, if it's bad news, then we'll talk to them together I promise."

"You should get some rest. I'll come back tomorrow first thing in the morning. My shift's not until the evening anyway, but I'll take it off if I need to." Maya bent down and kissed Jack. She hoped he knew she would be there for him whatever happened, and would be strong for him and the kids if it came to it. "I love you. Don't be afraid to ask for more pain medication if you need it, you don't have to be a hero."

Jack smiled. He could already feel the drugs and the exhaustion from the day overwhelm him. The second Maya left he would probably sleep. "I love you too."

Maya lingered for a moment longer, her hand on Jack's cheek. "I'll talk to Caitlin and Alex, don't worry about them. Just try and get some rest"

* * *

"Mom, can Daisy stay for dinner? It's my turn to cook and if Dad's still at the hospital there will be plenty of food."

Alex's voice drifted into the kitchen from the hallway and the sound of the front door slamming snapped Maya out of her daze. She was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a glass of red wine. She hadn't moved since she got home from the hospital except to take Jasper for a short walk around the block. It was nice, having the house to herself. She needed the peace and quiet to order her thoughts and figure out what exactly she was going to say to her children. She wasn't worried about Alex. The boy was generally unfazed by everything and would take the news in his stride. It was Caitlin she was worried about. Her sensitive, passionate little Daddy's girl felt everything and would take this news in the worst possible way no matter how Maya phrased it.

Alex came into the kitchen with Daisy following behind him. They were holding hands. Alex was still wearing his track uniform.

"Is your sister with you?" Maya asked.

Alex shook his head. "No. Her exact words were 'I've got better things to do with my time than watch you run in circles'. She went to the library. She should be home soon."

"Is Mr Gibson alright?" Daisy asked. "Alex said he would probably have to stay overnight at the hospital."

Maya nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry Daisy" she said, and she meant it. Daisy was a sweet girl, Maya really liked her and anyone could see Alex was besotted with her. "We need to have a family dinner tonight. Soon though, I promise."

"It's alright. I should probably do my homework anyway." Daisy took her car keys from her jacket pocket and let go of Alex's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow" she said and gave him a peck on the cheek.

When she was gone, Alex sat down at the table opposite his mother. "Is everything alright Mom? How's Dad?"

"I left him to get some rest. It's been a long and difficult day."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Alex looked pointedly at the wine then back at his mother.

Maya sighed deeply and brushed the hair from her eyes. "When your sister gets home, we need to talk." She tried to smiled to let Alex know not to worry. "Go take a shower, I'll get started on dinner."

Alex didn't move. "Mom?"

Maya touched his arm reassuringly. "Please?" she pleaded. What she didn't say to her son was that she wasn't sure she could face saying this news twice. The couple of hours she'd been alone Maya had spent telling herself it was probably nothing. The doctors would run their tests on Jack and find that he was perfectly fine, it was just cramp after all and the x-rays were wrong. But she knew that the moment she said the words out loud to her children her resolve would begin to crumble.

Alex wasn't convinced but did as he was told anyway and left the room. Maya stood up and went to the refrigerator, thinking that the distraction of making dinner was probably better than drowning herself in wine. She had only just got the ingredients out when she heard Caitlin's key in the front door.

As always at the sound of Caitlin's return, Jasper got up from his bed in the corner of the kitchen and walked to greet her as fast as his legs would carry him. Maya wondered how he always knew when it was Caitlin walking through the door instead of her, Jack or Alex. It made her smile. Dogs just knew these things.

"Hi Mom" Caitlin called. There was a thud as she threw her backpack down then the jangle of Jasper's collar as she made a fuss of him. She was always just as happy to see the dog as the dog was to see her.

A door slammed upstairs and in an instant Alex thudded down the stairs. His urgency confused Caitlin and she followed her brother, hair still wet from the fastest shower in history, as he rushed into the kitchen.

Maya turned to see the twins standing in the kitchen archway and put the knife she was holding down on the chopping board.

"What is it?" Caitlin asked, looking from her mom to her brother in confusion.

"Let's go and sit down in the living room."

Caitlin's questions didn't stop but Maya wouldn't answer them. There would be time for questions, but she needed to say what she had to say in her own way while she was still clear headed enough to get the words out. The three of them sat down on the couch with Caitlin in the middle and Maya took each of her children's hands in her own.

"I have some news about your Dad" she said, trying to keep her voice measured. "I don't want you to panic alright? We don't know what this means yet and until we do, we shouldn't think the worst." Maya paused, but she couldn't look at the kids. Telling anyone not to panic usually had the opposite affect and as she predicted, her own panic began to rise. "The x-ray showed an abnormal mass on his tibia. That's the large bone in his lower leg. It's likely what caused the pain when he fell on the call today. Tomorrow Dr Lincoln will take a biopsy so we know what we're dealing with."

Now she looked up. Alex was nodding slowly, taking the information in calmly, but Caitlin's face had distorted in worry and it looked like she might start crying. "No. It's just cramp. He said it was just cramp."

Maya squeezed her hand tighter. "We don't know what it is, but we will. Your Dad and I always want to be honest with you" she said. "You know this. We could have waited to see what the tests show, but you're almost adults now and we trust you as adults and think you deserve to know the truth."

"Mom?" Caitlin's voice was strained and her distress was clear. It hurt Maya's heart to see her child so upset. "Does Dad have cancer?"

Hearing the C word again made Maya's chest tighten but she fought to keep it together. She was the parent, she had to stay strong. But when she spoke, her voice was far from steady. "I don't know, Sweetheart" she said, honestly. "He might do. We'll know tomorrow."

Caitlin threw her arms around Maya and started crying. Maya hugged her tight, she felt like crying too. She looked at Alex over Caitlin's shoulder and saw the worry on his face too. He might not show it as much as his sister, but she knew Alex would be taking the news badly too. Alex joined the hug. The three of them stayed there for some time, Caitlin crying softly and Maya and Alex inwardly trying to deal with their own thoughts, until Maya gave her kids a final squeeze and gently pulled away. "Come on, let's make some dinner."

Caitlin wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm not hungry" she said.

"I know you're not. But will you try to eat something anyway? For me?"

Maya wasn't hungry either, but she saw the value of cooking dinner anyway and trying to eat. A normal evening's routine even though their day had been anything but normal. Meal times together in the Bishop-Gibson household didn't happen too often, what with Jack and Maya working such erratic shifts sometimes, but when they did, they were usually filled with laughter. Maya looked forward to that time with her family more than anything. But Jack wasn't here tonight, he had been admitted overnight before his biopsy in the morning. She tried not to think of him alone and potentially in pain at the hospital, and instead focused on helping her kids process this news.

She stood up from her sofa and offered Caitlin her hand. "Come on. It will make you feel better, I promise."

* * *

Maya hated sleeping in this bed without Jack. It didn't happen often anymore. When the twins were little, they tried to schedule their shifts so at least one of them would be home to look after them in the evenings. It had been tough, the side-effect of that arrangement was that they barely ever saw each other and had to make a special effort to spend time together. They did it though, because they had to, and keeping their relationship strong was important to both of them. But around the time the twins started fifth grade, they went back to working the same shifts as they always had. They worried how it might affect their relationship, going from seeing very little of each other day to day to living and working together, but they found that they slotted back into that routine like nothing had changed. They had missed each other, and it made Maya and Jack both realise how much they needed each other.

Before Jack, Maya always had a hard time getting a good night's sleep with another person in the bed. But after all this time she was so used to Jack's presence beside her that his absence was unsettling. It wasn't late, only around 10pm, but Maya could already tell she would barely sleep a wink. She picked up her phone and badly wanted to call Jack to hear his voice, but hesitated. She didn't want to disturb him if he was sleeping. Instead she compromised with a message.

_Are you awake? How are you feeling? I miss you_

Jack's reply came back almost immediately. Maya knew how restless Jack could be at night if he had something on his mind. They had that in common. She didn't blame him for not being able to sleep, not when there was so much riding on tomorrow.

_I'm awake. I miss you too. Did you talk to the kids? How did they take it?_

_They're worried about you but they took it okay. They wanted to come tomorrow but I told them they had to go to school. I'll be there though, of course._

Jack's next reply took a little longer. All Maya wanted was to give him a hug, and receive one in return. She hoped she did the right thing telling the twins Jack's not-quite news. She worried it was the wrong decision and could really do with some reassurance they had made the right choice. Being in Jack's arms always gave her that. He didn't even need to say anything most of the time, just being there gave her strength and calmed her down enough that she could trust her decisions. When Jack's reply came, it was short and sweet and said everything a hug would have said.

_I love you. You're amazing, I don't know what I did to deserve you. Sweet dreams._

* * *

Jack was wide awake when his phone lit up the darkened room. He stretched to reach it on the cabinet beside his bed and strained with the effort. Even his three good limbs felt like lead and his head was pounding, groggy from the drugs. He wasn't in any pain, not yet, the latest dose was still working its magic, but he still couldn't settle.

He needed Maya. He wasn't too proud to admit that. And he felt increasingly guilty for leaving her to break the news to their children alone. Lying there in the dark, Jack's thoughts were magnified, and fears that his family were not coping and he couldn't do anything to help seemed so real to Jack that he had convinced himself that was the truth. So Maya's assurance that the kids were okay was very welcome.

_I love you. You're amazing, I don't know what I did to deserve you. Sweet dreams._

That was the last message Jack sent before he turned off his phone and tried once again to sleep. It was an inadequate message, he wanted to say so much more, but now wasn't the time. Besides, he trusted that on some level Maya understood all that wasn't said. Maya was Jack's world. The kids too, but selfishly right now he needed Maya more. She kept him grounded and one look into her eyes in any situation was all Jack needed to believe that everything would be ok. Whatever diagnosis he received tomorrow, he knew he would get through it if he had Maya by his side.

In the evening, after Maya had left, a nurse had come by with some paperwork for him to fill out. The 'Next of Kin' section gave him pause. Not for the first time, his pen hovered uncertainly over the 'Relationship' section of the form after filling out Maya's name. 'Girlfriend' seemed wholly inadequate, not when they had known each other for so long and shared so much. But she wasn't his wife. God knows, he wanted her to be. Without ever saying so in as many words, he had made it clear that's what he wanted. But something held Maya back from wanting that too and he respected that. What they had was enough. It would always be enough. In the end he'd settled on writing 'partner' on the page but that word seemed so cold and a million miles away from how he thought of Maya Bishop.

She was his family. He had never had that before.

Jack closed his eyes. It had been a long day and he was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and the medication he was on to control his pain had made his head feel heavy. He had a feeling tomorrow would be even longer and harder but still sleep didn't come. Even the sleeping tablets he's been given didn't seem to be doing their job properly.

He was no stranger to sleepless nights. Many times in his life, from when he was a little boy in the group home, to nights as an adult when the pressures of the job got too much for him, insomnia wouldn't let him rest. He'd developed many techniques over the years to overcome it, some more destructive than others. Going for a run and turning to alcohol were out of the question in his current state, and Maya wasn't here either. Sometimes watching her sleep, matching his breathing to hers and seeing how peaceful she looked lulled him to sleep. Instead Jack imagined her lying beside him. He also thought of his children, their smiles, and the easy, loving, slightly mischievous relationship he enjoyed with them. He was lucky. There were many out there who weren't, and once upon a time he would have counted himself among them. Not anymore.

Even if tomorrow did bring bad news, Jack Gibson was still the luckiest man alive. That was the thought in his mind as he finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Jack awoke too early to a resident on pre-rounds shaking him awake. "Your medication, Mr Gibson. Dr Lincoln will be by in half an hour for rounds. How are you feeling?"

Jack ran his hand across his eyes, trying to swim up from the depths of sleep. "Morning" he croaked. "What time is it?" Jack swallowed. His mouth was dry. "Can I have some water?"

The resident checked his chart, no doubt to see whether he was nil by mouth, then nodded once and reached for the jug beside the bed. "It's almost 7. Are you I any pain?"

Was he? Jack still wasn't awake enough to know yet. He struggled into a sitting position and took the plastic beaker offered to him. The young doctor, with his short cropped blonde hair and large glasses, watching him closely as he waited for an answer. "Yeah, I guess I am a little bit. I guess some kind of tumour on your tibia and a fall down a flight of stairs will do that."

The resident laughed nervously and tapped something into the tablet he was holding. "You're wife's here. She's been here since dawn, but the ward sister told her to let you sleep. You're lucky to have someone that keen to see you."

Jack smiled. "We're not married" he said. "But I am lucky, for sure. I won't forget it."

The doctor left and five minutes later Maya was by his side. "Hey" she said before planting a kiss on Jack's lips. "How are you feeling?"

"You didn't have to come so early" Jack said. "Although of course I'm glad you did. You should have got more sleep while you could."

Maya put her bag down on the chair and sat down on the edge of Jack's bed. "Sleep? What's that?" She smiled, but there was worry in her eyes. She was scared for him, Jack could tell. He hated that.

"I didn't sleep too well either. I missed you. Did the kids really take it okay?"

"They took it about how you'd expect" Maya said. "Caitlin cried. Alex was as stoic as ever but he's worried too. We all are. I left them sleeping, but don't worry, I told Miller to go round and make sure they got off to school. He owes me a favour."

"You didn't tell him anything did you?" Jack asked. For some reason the thought of his colleagues worrying about him before he knew there was something to worry about bothered Jack. If they were worrying about him their minds wouldn't be on the job and that would affect who knew how many people.

"No, I didn't say anything. Do you know what time the biopsy is yet?"

"No, they haven't even done rounds yet. You were here before half the doctors, I bet."

Maya shrugged. "I've always been an early riser. I can't shake it from my training days I guess."

"Yeah, I know." Jack reached up and cupped Maya's cheek. "Thank you. For coming. I am pretty worried you know, about what this biopsy might show."

Maya smiled sadly and kissed Jack's palm. "I'm worried too. But you're strong, I know it. We've got this."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to everybody who has read so far and left me a review, it's very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter, although enjoy might be the wrong word to use…_

**Chapter 4**

Caitlin was sitting in the cafeteria with her head buried in a book. Her tray was in front of her but she was too nervous to eat. She was so absorbed in her English book that she didn't hear anyone approach. She almost jumped out of her skin when Alex tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey sis."

She batted him away with her hand. "God, you scared me. Stop being a creeper."

The twins spent a lot of their time together either arguing or hurling tame but sarcastic insults at each other. It was exhausting for everyone around them but they both found it hilarious. It came from a place of love, really, and the comfort of being so close to a person that you know you could literally say anything to them and you wouldn't lose that bond. They weren't as inseparable as they used to be as children, because as well as being so close they were both very independent, but they were still the first person each of them would go to in times of crisis. And while this wasn't exactly a crisis, not yet, they were definitely feeling something and needed the comfort of someone who was going through the exact same thing.

"Sorry" Alex said. He didn't try to defend himself and he didn't shoot a sarcastic comment back at his sister. Now wasn't the time. Today wasn't the day.

"Dad must have had his biopsy by now" she said. "Mom said in a message it was scheduled for late morning. I wonder what happened, I wonder what they found."

"They might not have got the results back yet. And even if they have, Mom and Dad wouldn't tell us what they say over text message, it's too important. We'll have to wait until after school. We'll go straight to the hospital together, okay?"

Caitlin nodded, but then closed her book and pushed it away from her in frustration. "I hate this. I hate not knowing. I haven't been able to concentrate all morning. I'm pretty sure I messed up that History pop quiz. I just want Dad to be alright."

Alex squeezed his sister's arm. "I want that too. But if he isn't, it will still be okay. If we stick together."

Caitlin took a deep breath and wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweater. She was about to say something to Alex, it wasn't fair he was giving all the support and receiving none in return, but she was interrupted by her far too perky best friend who slid into the seat next to her with a grin on her face. Caitlin locked eyes with Alex and shook her head. She didn't want to share her worries with anyone outside of her family, not yet. Not even with her best friend.

"You'll never guess who text me back" Marina said excitedly, pulling her cell phone from her pocket.

Caitlin composed herself and fixed a smile on her face she hoped would be enough to fool Marina into thinking she was okay. She wasn't too worried, when Marina was in this kind of excitable mood, she rarely noticed anything.

"I bet I will" Caitlin said. "Pun intended."

"Will wants a second date" Marina squealed. "I mean, I had a great time at the movies but I didn't know if he did. He's so quiet it's hard to get a read on him."

"He's not quiet" Caitlin said. "He's just quiet compared to you."

And just like that Caitlin was back to her usual self. She turned and started chatting to her friend like nothing was the matter and only paused momentarily when Alex stood up to leave and squeezed her shoulder on the way past.

"Meet you in the parking lot after school" he said. "Daisy will give us a ride, I'm sure."

Caitlin nodded. "Thank you" she mouthed at her brother. Alex responded by sticking out his tongue and it made Caitlin giggle. That was what she needed.

* * *

When Jack came round from the anaesthetic, Maya was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. It was his favourite way to wake up. The effects of the anaesthesia hadn't completely worn off by the time Link came to see him and Jack had to concentrate hard to understand what the surgeon was saying.

"It went well" Link said. "As well as can be expected. I took a biopsy of the mass and fixed some temporary pins in place to stabilise the bone. Just because it didn't break when you fell doesn't mean it won't. It's weak and we have to be extra careful. I would advise not putting any weight on it for the time being. We can give you some crutches in a little bit, but for now Jack, please, stay in bed." Link looked pointedly at his patient. He knew how restless Jack could be and hoped his hard stare would hammer the point home.

"When will you have the biopsy results?" Maya asked.

"Soon. I put a rush order on. I promise I'll let you know as soon as they're back. Page me if you need anything" Link said, and left the room, his resident following out behind him.

The entire time Dr Lincoln was speaking to them, Maya didn't let go of Jack's hand, and she still held on now as they both sat in silence. There wasn't very much more to say, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Jack and Maya were both on edge, in limbo between normality and a potentially lifechanging diagnosis.

"I can't stand this" Jack said. "The not knowing. Talk to me please, about anything. Distract me."

Maya didn't want to deny Jack's request, especially when he looked at her with such a pleading expression on his face, but she opened her mouth to crack a joke or make some other light hearted comment and no sound came out. She lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I've got nothing. I can't think straight."

Jack kissed the top of her head. "It's alright" he said. He let go of Maya's hand and instead wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"No, it's not. I'm the one who should be comforting you, not the other way around. You're the one this is happening to."

"We're in this together" Jack said. "The four of us. If one of us has a problem we all support each other, you don't have to feel bad about feeling how you feel."

"I'll get better at this" Maya said. "If I have to."

Maya was great at boosting people up when they were doubting themselves or trying to reach a goal. She had unwavering belief in her family and friends and their abilities to succeed. But this was an unknown entity, and one that neither she nor Jack or even Dr Lincoln had any control over. It was nature, and it was hard to battle nature. As firefighters, they knew that better than anyone. It all came down to the biopsy result and that was out of everybody's hands. Whatever the universe had in store for Jack and their family, they would just have to meet it head on and hope to contain it.

"I should call Herrera and tell her I won't be able to work my shift tonight."

"You don't…" Jack began, but Maya held up her hand.

"I do. Family comes first, alright? No arguments."

Jack had spent a large part of his life insisting he didn't need anyone by his side and he could deal with his problems alone. It was a hard habit to break, but he realised now that he did need people around him. Especially today. Because even if this mass wasn't cancer, he would still probably need surgery and would no doubt be out of action for a while. He needed support and he wasn't going to fight it.

"No arguments."

* * *

"It is cancer, isn't it?"

Jack knew as soon as Dr Lincoln entered with another man who Jack had never met before but could only assume was an oncologist, that the results of his biopsy weren't favourable. He thought he'd feel paralysed with fear if met with the worst possible scenario, he thought he would yell or cry or want to throw something, but he felt surprisingly calm.

Maya had been sitting on the other side of the room reading a book, but threw it aside and was by Jack's side in a flash when the doctors entered. She took his hand and Jack could feel her shaking. He looked at her face and could see silent tears running down her cheeks.

Neither doctor had said a word yet, but Jack knew. He just knew.

"Yes" Link said. "The mass turned out to be an osteosarcoma. It's very rare in someone your age, but it's not unheard of. The fresh x-rays show it's larger than we initially thought but the good news is there's no sign of it spreading. You're lucky Jack, we've caught it relatively early." Link paused. His experience told him the best way to deliver news like this was in small doses, with time between to let it sink in.

Jack felt Maya touch his face gently. She still hadn't said a word.

"This is Dr Campbell, he's the head of Oncology. We've come up with a treatment plan we'd like to run by you."

"You'll do surgery right? To remove it?"

"Eventually, yes. But it's too large right now to remove safely. We'd like to do a few courses of chemotherapy to try and shrink the tumour first to give you the best outcome."

"Best outcome?" Maya spoke in a quiet voice. She didn't sound like herself to Jack, and that unsettled him in some ways more than the news he was hearing about his health. That didn't quite seem real, not yet. But Maya, usually quick to assert herself and take charge, sounded frightened, and that frightened Jack. He looked over at her and saw she was beginning to cry.

Link sighed. He made a judgement call, guessing Jack could take the truth. He wouldn't normally go into hypothetical scenarios with his patients but Jack wasn't a normal patient. "In some cases the only way to treat osteosarcoma is with amputation. But I'm hoping we can avoid that. You're relatively young your otherwise fit and healthy, I think we have a real shot at beating this and saving your leg at the same time."

Jack swallowed. "I trust you, doc" he said.

Dr Campbell stepped forward. "I'd like to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, in the next couple of days. I'll come and see you tomorrow to talk in more detail about your treatment. Do you have any questions?"

Jack may not have been panicking but his mind was still blank. "Probably, but I, er… I can't think."

"It's alright. If you think of anything you can ask me tomorrow. Take the rest of the day with your family."

Dr Campbell left but Link stayed behind for a moment. "I'm truly sorry Jack" he said. "We'll do everything we can for you. If you need anything at all…"

"Link?" Jack's voice caught in his throat as he tried to continued. He looked at Maya who still looked distressed. Although she had stopped crying, her tears still glistened on her cheeks. Jack wanted to wipe them away. He would, soon. "Will you be around later? The twins are coming by after school. We have to tell them. Honesty is important in our family. But we might need some help explaining the medical stuff." Jack had already half forgotten the details he'd been told not 5 minutes ago about his treatment plan.

"Of course, man, whatever you need."

When they were alone, Maya reached out her arms to Jack and he fell into her embrace with an odd kind of relief. The not-knowing was over, and at least now he could start preparing.

Maya's tears began to fall again but she made no effort to wipe them away. This moment wasn't about her, and she was kind of mad at herself for crying in the first place. This was about Jack, and pretty soon it would be about their kids too. She didn't have the luxury of crying, at least not yet. She took a deep breath and pulled herself together as best she could.

"Maya…." Jack said. If there were more words to come, they didn't come yet. Maya rubbed his back in a gentle soothing motion.

"I know" she said, almost in a whisper. "I know."

"The kids… How are we going to tell them?"

"Shhh. We've got time to work that out." Maya tried to sound calm and sure and she thought he pulled it off, but inside she felt the complete opposite. But she pushed those feelings down. She'd had plenty of practice of that. "Right now is about you."

Maya didn't want to let go of Jack, but she did want to see his face. She pulled away reluctantly, but couldn't relinquish contact all together. Her hand moved up his arm and over his shoulder, coming to rest on the back of his neck. Outwardly Jack was calm, but when she looked into his eyes he looked lost. It was a look she'd seen before and it scared her. Maya leant forward so their foreheads were touching.

"I want to ask how you're feeling but that's a stupid question" she said, and smiled slightly, testing the waters.

"I knew it" Jack said. "On some level I knew something was wrong. I didn't really think it was a pulled muscle, but I never thought…" His eyes darted away for a moment, searching the room for something to focus on to help him order his thoughts. "Cancer" he said, as if saying the word for the first time. "Wow."

"If you want to shout or cry or whatever, let it out. You're allowed."

Jack got a hold of himself enough to look back to Maya and shake his head. "No. I can't, not yet. I'm sure I will at some point but right now I think we need to focus on Alex and Caitlin."

* * *

Maya met her children outside the entrance to the ward. She knew that they would know something was wrong as soon as they saw her so she didn't even try to hide her emotions. She was right, the moment they saw her they both froze and she had to take the few extra steps to go to them.

"Mom, you've been crying" Alex said.

Maya sniffed and held out her hand to her son. "Yeah, I have."

"No" Caitlin said. "No, no, no…" She began to step backwards, as if her subconscious was urging her to run from the situation like that would make the bad news untrue. But Maya and Alex both made a grab for her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Come on" Maya said. "Let's go and see your Dad."

The three of them walked slowly along the corridor to Jack's room. Alex was quietly determined to face this head on and be strong for his family, while Maya felt that the tears she'd cried and emotions she'd felt already today had drained her of all energy. They both had to practically drag Caitlin who was still fighting the urge to run and hide by herself, just like she used to do when she was a little girl.

Jack was trying his best to appear in control when they entered the room. While he didn't mind breaking down in front of Maya, in fact in a weird way he kind of looked forward to a moment when he could, he didn't want to do that in front of his children. It was a parent's job to protect their offspring from pain, and here he was about to be the cause of it. He would do what he could to lessen that pain but staying strong.

Maya closed the door and nodded to Jack. They had agreed she wouldn't tell the kids when she met them, and that nod told Jack she'd kept her promise, but the looks on Alex and Caitlin's faces told Jack they had guessed what the news might be anyway.

The twins stood in the middle of the room halfway between the door and Jack's bed. They were fearful of learning the truth, and still half hoping they were wrong about what they thought that truth might be.

"Come and sit down guys" Jack said. He smiled at his children and scooted to one side of the bed to make room for them both to sit down.

From behind, Maya gently nudged Caitlin and Alex forward. She looked past them to Jack and her heart broke. This would be one of the toughest things he would ever had to do, and Maya wished she could do more to help him in this moment. All she could do was be there, and let him draw strength from her if he needed, and gather up all the pieces when it was over. Maya felt the burden of holding her family together so acutely in that second. She had a feeling that in the coming months she would have to do just that.

"It's bad news isn't it?" Caitlin looked at the floor as she sat down and wiped at her eyes.

Jack stroked her hair away from where it fell over her face. "Yes, sweetie. But not the worst. The tumour in my leg, it is cancer. But it hasn't spread, and the doctors think there's a real shot they can fix it."

The words came tumbling out of Jack quickly, as though he was afraid that if he stopped to take a breath, he wouldn't be able to say it. Caitlin still sat, hunched over and unable to look at her father. Alex on the other hand flung his arms around Jack's neck.

"I'm sorry Dad" he said. "That really really sucks."

Jack rubbed his back. "Yeah, it really really does."

Alex lifted his head and looked at his sister. She was barely moving, but her shoulders shook, and even though her hair had fallen back, hiding her face, it was clear she was crying. "Caitlin." Alex said her name and reached over to squeeze her arm. She jerked away and stood up. It was an involuntary action, born of despair, and when Maya saw her daughter's face she looked utterly lost.

"Say something honey" Maya gently coaxed. She felt helpless.

"I… I can't, I can't." Caitlin made a lunge for the door, but Maya caught her and pulled her into a fierce hug. Maya guided her back over to the bed holding her tightly, and passed her back to Jack who looped am arm around her and held her tight.

"I'll be okay" Jack said. "I'll be okay." He wasn't sure whether he was saying those words to comfort Caitlin of himself, but he hoped that by sending that thought out into the universe it would become true. He had to be okay, his family needed him.

"I'm sorry Daddy" Caitlin said. Her words came out punctuated by more sobs.

"What happens now?" Alex asked. Normally Caitlin was the practical one that would ask these questions but Alex lead the way for both of them.

"I'll need to have some chemo, then an operation. It may take some time for me to beat this thing."

"When do you start?"

"in the next couple of days. The sooner I start the sooner I can be well again."

"What kind of operation? Will they be able to save your leg?"

Maya saw on Jack's face he was struggling and stepped in to save him. "Don't worry about that now" she told her son. Her eyes pleaded with him to please let it be for now. All the questions were buzzing around her own head but right now it didn't matter. What mattered was them absorbing this news as a family, and being there for Jack and each other.

The sun shining through the window and throwing shadows across the bed covers was at complete odds with the mood inside the room. It was almost like they were grieving, and in a funny sort of way they were. Grieving the carefree, fun-loving life they had enjoyed so far. For a little while at least, their lives would look very different.

Maya stood by Jack's head. She put a hand on his shoulder and looked at her children. "We have to be strong" she told them. "We'll get through this as a family."

* * *

Caitlin didn't want to let go of her Daddy but Alex, recognising that their parents needed some time alone, prised his sister away and said some fresh air would do them good.

The moment they left, the last bit of Jack's resolve crumbled away and he slumped forward. Maya was there to catch him.

"That was tough" Jack said, his eyes closed.

Maya took Jack's face in her hands and kissed him deeply. It caught Jack by surprise but he gave himself over to the kiss. For just a second, he forgot the uphill struggle he had ahead of him and simply lost himself in the moment.

It reminded him a little of another kiss he and Maya had shared a lifetime ago on a rooftop at the end of a long shift. When they were still trying to figure out what they had and what they felt for each other. Maya had been upset with him, or with herself, and had stormed away but in an instant, she was back in his arms as though something was pulling her to him, and Jack remembered feeling as though there was nothing else in the world that mattered when her lips met his.

The memory made Jack smile and Maya looked at him curiously. Curiously, and cautiously. "What?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing. I was just reminded how important you are to me, that's all."

Maya touched his face again. She seemed lost, and didn't know what to do. It was so unlike her and it made her feel uneasy. "And you to me. I'm here for you Jack. Always."

"I could use some of your relentlessness and determination right about now. Do you have any to spare?"

"You can have it all" Maya said, laying her head against Jack's chest. "Whatever you need me to give you, it's yours."

"What I need is to come home" Jack said with a sigh.

Maya closed her eyes. "Tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When Maya, Caitlin and Alex got home from the hospital, none of them really wanted to be alone. Caitlin had lost her initial desire to run away and didn't want to be more than a few feet from her mom and brother. She still cried softly now and then, letting the last residual bits of shock and emotion out.

Alex was quiet, but he didn't cry. Maya didn't think for one second that wasn't because he wasn't just as upset as his sister. She knew he'd feel a responsibility to hold it together for his family and Maya felt a pang if guilt. Her son was strong and independent and responsible, but he was still only a kid really. Maya should take that on that burden, it was her job.

Maya herself didn't quite know how she felt. She was still in disbelief and somewhere at the back of her mind she expected a phone call any second from the hospital to say they had made a terrible mistake and that Jack was fine. But if she was honest with herself, she knew thinking that way was pointless and counterproductive. What happened had happened and she had to concentrate on what was ahead. For herself, for her children, and most importantly for Jack.

She hadn't wanted to leave Jack at the hospital. She knew there was a wealth of thoughts and emotions going on behind those soulful eyes of his, none of them good. Jack had a tendency to internalise his struggles, and had to work that extra bit harder to share them in a healthy way. That was Maya's influence, and it had taken a while, but they trusted each other implicitly and knew they could share whatever they were feeling with each other without fear of judgement.

Still, old habits die hard, and Maya was scared Jack would sink into himself if she let her attention slip. She had wanted to stay for him but it was late and the kids were falling asleep. Finally the ward sister had gently but firmly thrown them out.

"Go home" Jack had said, squeezing Maya's hand. "I'll be fine for one more night."

Jack might me, but Maya wasn't sure she would. She was wide awake, her mind racing with every feasible and horrible possibility about what the future held. She sat in the dark of the living room in an arm chair, her legs tucked up against her chest, thinking.

Caitlin and Alex had fallen asleep on the couch. Alex had his arm around his sister and they both looked troubled in their sleep, but more at peace for having each other than they would do alone. Maya had thrown a large blanket over both of them and just let them be.

It had been a long time since Maya had watched her children sleep and it struck her just how many years had passed and how much they'd grown. They weren't babies anymore, that was for sure. They weren't even really kids. They were high school seniors, a little under a year away from graduation and being let loose into the world. But today, after learning such devastating news about their father who they adored it was like no time had passed at all and they were five years old again.

Maya should probably wake them and send them to bed, or leave them where they were and go to bed herself. Sleeping sitting up in the armchair would only mean she'd be stiff and sore tomorrow, but Maya didn't think she'd get much sleep wherever she spent the night, and she didn't want to leave the twins.

Maya shifted her weight in the armchair and hugged a cushion to her chest. This was really the first chance Maya had got all day to be alone with her thoughts, but what she really wanted to do was run from them. Her whole life she had been about embracing the pain, but this was one time she couldn't do that, if she let herself really think about what had happened today Maya thought she might fall apart.

Jack had cancer. The man she loved had cancer. Maya didn't know what to do with that information. For a long time that night Maya just sat, wide awake and starting out the window through the crack in the curtains.

* * *

Maya didn't think she would sleep that night, but she must have nodded off, because the next thing she knew she was waking up to bright sunshine and the smell of coffee. Maya opened to eyes to see her daughter standing in front of her with a coffee mug in her outstretched hand.

"Mom" Caitlin whispered, not wanting to startle Maya awake.

Maya stretched and forced a smile on her face. "Hey." Her neck was stiff, as predicted from spending the night slumped in an armchair, and she felt far from rested, but she forced herself to sit up straighter.

Caitlin hovered before her, dressed but with wet hair and no make up on. Maya yawned. "Thank you sweetie" she said as she took the mug. "Did you guys sleep on the couch all night?"

"I did. Alex went up to bed at some point. He probably got the best night's sleep of all of us."

As if on cue, Alex emerged from the kitchen with is own mug of coffee in one hand. "I didn't. I woke at about 2am and went upstairs but I couldn't switch my brain off. I couldn't stop thinking about Dad."

"I know. But he's coming home today. That will help everyone, I think. I'm going to drive to the hospital when he's been discharged and you'll see him when you get home from school."

Alex glanced at Caitlin then back at Maya. "About that…"

Maya put her mug down on the coffee table. "No, you're going to school" she said, and held out one arm for Alex. "You should go to school. You'll only sit around here worrying if you don't."

"We won't learn anything in class" Caitlin said. Maya held out her other arm for her and both twins sat on an arm of the chair each as Maya held them.

"Will you try?" she asked. "For me?"

Resigned, Alex nodded. "I'll try."

"Thank you."

Caitlin snuggled in closer to her mother. "Me too." Maya thanked her with a kiss on the head.

It was the truth, she did think the distraction of school would do the twins good, have something to keep their minds off Jack's diagnosis. But selfishly, Maya needed a break from the stress of worrying about her children, and she wanted some time alone with Jack. Scratch that, she needed time alone with Jack.

* * *

With the house to herself once the twins had left, Maya cleaned. She scrubbed the kitchen and the bathroom, she took Jasper for a walk so long she had to carry him half the way home because he ran out of energy. Finally, with no more legitimate distractions to occupy her mind, she sat down at the kitchen island and switched on her laptop.

Maya knew even as she opened the web browser and typed her search into the search bar that this was probably a bad idea. But she wanted to be prepared. She was someone who liked to have all the information about a situation to know how to best deal with it. But she wasn't quite prepared for the effect it would have on her when she began reading those blog posts. She tried to stay detached, the way she was used to being at work when assessing the best way to tackle a fire or perform a rescue. She told herself she was just gathering facts, about how chemotherapy might affect Jack so she could be prepared to support him through it, but it was impossible to read these stories without being affected on a human level. She was managing though, carrying on reading even as her eyes grew watery, until scrolling down one post brought her to a family photograph of a smiling man with his wife and two sons playing with a puppy on a lawn.

It was a happy photo, but the caption hit her like a ton of bricks. It was a memorial post. The man had lost his fight.

Suddenly the situation Jack was in became all too real. She felt her chest tighten have her breathing become shallow and recognised her symptoms for what they were. The beginnings of a panic attack.

She wanted to go to Jack. He was the first person she turned to with her problems now, but it wasn't fair. It was a hundred times worse for him, Maya imagined, because all this was happening to him. Instead Maya closed the laptop and grabbed her car keys.

Maya turned to the person who used to be the one she told everything too. She still was really, except for the truly intimate details of her and Jack's relationship. Did this count as one of those things? Maya didn't know. What she did know was that she would go crazy if she didn't vent. She would ask for forgiveness later, Maya told herself. But what was the harm? As his boss, Andy would find out about Jack's cancer sooner or later.

Maya parked in a hurry and ignored the confused looks from Montgomery and Miller and the rest of her team as she entered the station in her civvies in the middle of the shift she'd called out from. She rushed up to Andy's office and knocked on the door, but pushed it open without waiting for a reply.

Andy looked up from her computer, annoyed at the intrusion and ready to reprimand, but one look at her best friend, shocked and pale and close to tears in the doorway, made her stop. Andy stood up and walked around the desk, approaching Maya slowly. Maya didn't speak, just make short laboured breaths as she struggled to keep her composure.

Andy took her by the hand and pulled her into the room, closing the door behind her and drawing the blinds. She guided Maya to one of the spare chairs next to her desk but Maya shook her head, preparing to stand.

Now they we're alone Maya found her voice, but her thoughts were a jumble of fears, both rational and irrational, and her words came spilling out in no coherent order.

"I can't do this, I can't stay strong. Telling the kids was so hard, I pushed my feelings down to do it, but they went to school this morning and I was finally alone and it all got too much. I'm so worried I don't know what to do with myself. " Maya took a deep breath but the squeezed her eyes shut, infuriated that she wasn't able to keep calm. "Stupid internet. Why did I start reading?"

Andy listened to her best friend rant in garbled bursts of information that she couldn't piece together. She took Maya firmly by both arms and forced her to look her in the face. "Maya. Stop. What's wrong? You're scaring me."

Focusing on Andy seemed to reboot Maya's brain and she realised that she had left out the most vital piece of information there was. She also realised that ever since Jack's accident she hadn't contacted anyone in the department, except to say she wouldn't make her shift today, and as far as anyone knew Jack had concussion or a sprain or some other minor ailment that was easily fixed. She had been so focused on her family it hadn't occurred to her to say anything.

Andy saw the fear in Maya's eyes and correctly deduced the source of that fear. "It's Jack isn't it? Maya, what's happened?"

Maya opened her mouth to speak but a sob escaped before she could say a word. She covered her face with her hand and slumped forward. She might have fallen if Andy hadn't still been holding her. "Jack has cancer" she managed. "A tumour, in his leg. That's why he was in pain, that's why he fell. The doctors, they said it's... cancer."

Maya's knees buckled and she fell into Andy, but Andy was prepared and caught her. She enveloped her friend in an embrace and just held her as she cried into her shirt.

A while later Maya had calmed down, and they sat side by side on the same side of the desk. Andy had her hand on Maya's knee, a gesture that said she was there for her and Jack, whatever they needed. What Maya needed right now was just someone to listen, and she was grateful to Andy for knowing that without having to ask.

"We told the kids yesterday evening. It was one of the hardest things we've ever had to do. They took it better than I have, I think. It almost doesn't feel real."

"Where's Jack now?"

"Still at the hospital." Maya felt a pang if guilt that she wasn't with him. "He'll be discharged this afternoon, I'm waiting for him to call before I go pick him up."

Maya wiped her eyes with the handful of tissues she had clutched in her fist and Andy offered her the fresh box. "Thanks" she said, with a small embarrassed laugh. "I'm such a mess."

"Are you kidding?" Andy said. She shuffled closer to Maya and tried to catch her eye. "You have every right to be a mess. This is horrible news to learn about someone you love, you have every right to break down."

"I can't though" Maya said and shook her head. "Not when Jack needs me to be strong. Alex and Cait too. I have to hold it together, I don't have a choice."

"What happens next?"

"Chemo to shrink the tumour then an operation. There's still so much we don't know. Link and the oncologist will give her more information in the next few days, I'm sure."

"Take as much time off as you need" Andy said. She knew that being without her two lieutenants would be tough but that was only a minor problem compared to what two of her closest friends were struggling with right now, one she and the rest of the department would just have to deal with.

Maya nodded gratefully. "Thanks. My mind wouldn't be on the job anyway."

Andy rubbed her arm. "What do you need from me?"

It was a simple question but Maya was stuck for an answer, so reverted to humour as a diversion tactic as she so often did. "Vodka?"

Andy wasn't buying it. "How about a hug?"

Maya smiled, and gladly accepted. But then the familiar sound of the alarm, signalling that somewhere in the city of Seattle someone was in trouble and needed their help, came over the tannoy.

Worst timing ever. Andy didn't want to leave but that was the job. Of course, Maya understood and released their embrace first. "Go, I'll be fine."

"Stay" Andy said. "Eat, sleep. There's plenty of food in the beanery and you can use my bunk room." In the door way, Andy stopped and turned around. "You'll get through this, Maya. I know it. You and Jack are the strongest people I know."

Maya smiled at Andy's retreating form but right then she didn't feel very strong. She felt exhausted and hopeless, but she had to snap out of it before she saw Jack.

* * *

Jack was up and dressed and ready to go when Maya walked into his room. She had her car keys in hand, so eager was she to get out of this place. They would be seeing more than enough of this building in the coming months, and it was a beautiful afternoon and she wanted to enjoy it.

Jack had his back to the door as he lifted his duffel bag onto the bed. He moved slowly, leaning on the bed frame to keep his balance and inhaled sharply when he stretched a little bit too far. The pain hadn't gone away after all.

"Look who's up" Maya said, and Jack turned. His face lit up when he saw her. The way his eyes sparkled whenever he looked at her always made Maya feel special. Out of bed and out of that hospital gown, Jack looked like himself. Maya could almost fool herself into believing everything was fine.

"Here, let me help with that." Maya zipped up the bag and hoisted it over her shoulder. Jack caught her around the waist and pulled her in for a hug.

"I've signed all my discharge papers, I'm all set."

Maya nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. "Let's go home."

"Not yet" Jack said. "It feels like I've been stuck in here for hours, I want some fresh air. Let's take a walk by the water."

Maya frowned. "Are you sure? Don't think I didn't see you grimace just now. If you're in pain..."

Jack held up a plastic bag containing a couple of pots of pills. "I'm sorted on that front." Maya still looked sceptical. Jack sighed and brushed her hair away from her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. "I'm sick Maya, I know I am. But I don't feel sick. I want to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible. The sun is shining and the kids are still at school. I want to enjoy your company. Is that so wrong?"

Maya shook her head. "No. But I'm worried about you."

Jack didn't say anything. He knew nothing he could say would stop Maya worrying and the truth was she had every right to worry. But Jack didn't want to think about that right now. For a couple of hours at least. Instead he just took Maya's hand before picking up his jacket. "Come on, let's get out of here."

They walked slowly through the park, with Maya's arm firmly clamped around Jack's waist. She wanted to be close to him of course, but was also aware that he was a bit unsteady on his feet. She didn't mention it, she knew it would annoy him, but instead let him lean on her, taking some of his weight.

"I have a confession" Maya said when they reached a bench looking out over the water and sat down. "I told Andy. I'm sorry, it all got a bit overwhelming at home by myself, I needed to talk to someone."

Jack took a moment before responding and Maya feared he would be angry, but his tone was calm and Maya sensed a hit of resignation when he spoke. "She'd find out sooner or later, they all will. I'm glad you have someone besides me you can turn to."

"You're not mad?"

"No, of course not. Maya, I know you, I know you want to stay strong for me, but I want you to lean on me too. This will be hard on you too."

"I know, but I feel guilty. It's not happening to me, I don't feel I have the right to fall apart."

Jack took Maya's hand where it rested in her lap and squeezed tight. "I love you. No conditions. Don't ever feel like you have to be ashamed of feeling whatever you want to feel. We've always been honest with each other, it's more important than ever to remain that way."

Maya nodded slowly and stared into Jack's eyes. She could get lost in those eyes, they were so deep and sincere and made Maya feel safe. As if he could read her thoughts, Jack continued. "We'll get through this, I know we will. Whatever happens I know I'll be ok because I have you."

Maya had so much she wanted to tell Jack but somehow couldn't quite find the words. But the look he gave her told her that he knew and it was ok. "I love you too" she said simply, and rested her head on Jack's shoulder.

* * *

Jack sat them all down after dinner that evening and laid out clearly what he wanted, what he needed from his family. There was very little room for argument, but they wouldn't be the Bishop-Gibson family if they didn't try.

"I have an appointment with a councillor tomorrow" Jack said, mostly addressing Cait and Alex who sat opposite their parents across the dining table, looking worried. Jack held Maya's hand under the table. "Your Mom and I will go to that. Then I'll have my first chemo treatment the day after. I'll have a few rounds of chemo, until Dr Link thinks the tumour has shrunk enough to remove, but it could be months and I want you to be prepared. It will be hard on all of us, and I'm sorry for that, but I want life to be as normal as possible when it can be. That means going to school, and going to work." He looked across as Maya then to reinforce this point. "That means laughter, and goofy pranks. It means arguing over who's going to do the dishes or take the dog for a walk in the rain. And most of all, it means no tears." He smiled at his children and they tried to return it but Jack could see what a struggle it was for them, one he hoped would get easier once they settled into this new routine.

"I love you Dad" Alex said.

"I do too. Obviously." Caitlin got up and walked around the table, wrapping her arms around Jack from behind. "But I can't promise no tears."

And with that it was settled and Jack felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He'd said what he needed to say and was confident his family would be ok.

"Right." Jack said, gently peeling Caitlin's arms from around his neck. "How about a movie?"


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you all for your lovely reviews on my story so far, I always love to head what you think. _

_To the guest who keeps leaving me reviews on this fic and my other one asking to write a story about Maya getting hurt, please stop. I've seen your comments but I'm writing this story and won't be writing another. Thank you._

**Chapter 6**

Jack was reminded of another counselling session, with another shrink about another hurdle he had to overcome a million years ago. Back then, after the sky scraper when his PTSD threatened to derail his sanity, he remembered feeling mildly irritated that Maya had waited outside every session to make sure he was ok. She had been determined that he know someone was there for him, whether he wanted it or not. Jack had resisted, but not for long. It was the first time he really realised there was something more between them, and it had changed his life.

This time Maya was right by his side and he couldn't imagine it any other way. He'd been offered the chance to have this session alone, but no, he didn't want that. "We don't have any secrets" he told the counsellor. The sceptical look on her face wasn't lost on Jack, but it really was true.

"How are you feeling, Jack?" Dr Turner asked. Her pen was poised above her notepad, ready to record his answer.

"I'm scared" Jack said. "But I'm okay. I trust that the doctors know what they're doing. And I've read all the leaflets and stuff. I feel prepared."

"It seems like you have a good support system around you. That's important for prolonged treatment like you're about to face."

"I do. Not only my actual family, but my firefighter family too." Jack swallowed. "I haven't told them yet though, my colleagues. My boss knows, but... I'm not ready for that yet. Is that okay?"

Dr Turner fixed him with a patient smile. "Of course, whatever makes you feel comfortable. As long as you're not alone."

Jack looked at Maya who was sitting beside him on the couch grasping a pillow to her chest. She smiled back at him but stayed silent.

"I'm not."

Dr Turner consulted her notes. "You have two children, is that right? A son and a daughter."

"Yeah, that's right. Twins. They're 16. They know everything that's happening. I think it's important not to hide anything from them, even the bad stuff. I know from my own experience that a person feels the most anxious and frightened when they don't know what's happening."

"I'm here to help you make sense of all the new information that you've been given about your condition and the treatment. I know you have some training as a medic but it's different when you're the patient. You start your first round of chemotherapy tomorrow. Have you read the booklet we gave you about what to expect?"

Jack nodded. It took him a long time to bring himself to even pick it up.

The therapist continued. "Good. Not every patient experiences every side effect, but it's important that you rest."

"I'll make sure of it" Maya said. Jack had no doubt that she would. It will probably drive him crazy.

On the walk back to the car, Jack stopped in the middle of the parking lot and took a breath. Maya turned to him, concerned. "What is it? Are you in pain?"

Jack closed his eyes and enjoyed the sun on his face for a second. "Let's have a barbeque tonight" he said.

Maya raised her eyebrow. "A barbeque?"

"Yeah, why not? We can go to the grocery store on the way home. Fire up the grill, invite some people over. What do you think?"

Maya was keen to please Jack but was still confused by his request. "I thought you'd want to take it easy tonight. Tomorrow will be tough."

Jack took both her hands in his and smiled down at her. Maya had to squint to see his face. "That's exactly why I want this. What's more relaxing than being surrounded by the people you love? Tomorrow _will_ be tough, and the days after will be even worse no doubt. I want one more good day."

Maya wasn't sure about her ability to put on a brave face for all of their friends but this wasn't about her. Whatever Jack wanted. "Let's do it."

Jack could see the conflict going on in Maya's head. He loved her for agreeing to his wishes despite her reservations. "Thank you" he said. "But there needs to be some ground rules."

* * *

Out of their uniforms and ready to go home after their shift, Andy gathered her team in the beanery to deliver Jack's news. She braced herself on the table and took a deep breath. This wasn't easy. Jack was so much more to her than one of her lieutenants. It had been a long time since they were a thing, they had moved on. She was happily married and any romantic feelings she had for Jack were in the past. But they had been through a lot and Andy cared for him still. Learning what she did from Maya knocked her sideways, and now she was having to impart the news to the rest of Station 19 so Jack wouldn't have to. She'd promised.

"I have some news about Gibson. I know you're all worried after what happened at the housefire a couple of days ago." She looked out at her team. Particularly Miller and Montgomery, standing over by the door looking more concerned than anyone. "There's no easy way of saying this, so I'm just going to come out with it. Jack has cancer. The pain he experienced that led to his fall was caused by a tumour in his leg." Andy heard the collective gasp pf breath from everyone in the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Robyn sit down heavily on a chair in shock. But she ploughed on, wanting to get this out of the way. "He starts chemo tomorrow, and he and Maya have invited us to their house tonight for a barbeque. I know it's short notice, but if you can show up for them, I know they would really appreciate it."

"Of course we'll be there" Travis said, answering for the room. Everyone else nodded their heads, unanimously agreeing.

"There's just one thing Jack's requested. No cancer talk. Let's make this a happy evening. Let's show Jack that we're all here for him."

Andy walked straight out of the station and into her husband's arms. She dropped her satchel on the ground and wrapped both arms around his waist in a fierce hug.

Sullivan responded and kissed her hair. "I got your message" he said. "How was it?"

"Horrible. You can come tonight, right? You don't have anything on?"

Sully had a mountain of paperwork on his desk back at headquarters and was exhausted, but of course he would drop it all. His friends needed him. His wife needed him. "Nothing more important than this. Man, I can't believe it. Cancer? It seems to sudden. Jack didn't tell you anything about being in pain?"

Andy shook her head. "No. But you know what Jack's like, he doesn't like to show weakness. He wouldn't tell me even if he was in pain."

"How's Maya taking it? And the kids?"

Andy released her grip on Sully's waist and looked up at him. "About as well as you'd expect. They're scared. I can't imagine what they're going through."

Sullivan stared into the distance over the top of Andy's head. He could imagine perfectly, and it was horrendous. But he didn't say that out loud. He only sighed and bent down to pick up Andy's bag. "Do we need to bring any food tonight?"

"Maya said no, but I think we should make a salad or a desert or something. We've got a couple of hours until they're expecting us, we can sort something out."

"Do we have anything at home?" Robert asked. He couldn't remember the last time he opened their refrigerator, he doubted very much they had the necessary ingredients to make anything more exotic than grilled cheese.

"Probably not" Andy said, no doubt thinking exactly the same. "We can run to the store after we've picked up Isaac from soccer practice."

* * *

"A party?"

The look on Caitlin's face when she got home from school and Maya told her they were having people over tonight was the same as the one Maya had given Jack in the parking lot, but turned up to 11.

"It's what your Dad wants" Maya said.

"All I want to do is hide away and cry Mom, I don't think I have it in me to smile and chat and act normal."

Maya gathered her daughter into her arms. "It's only a few people, the guys from the station. Your Dad wanted to do something fun before tomorrow. You never know, it could be just what we all need." Maya brushed Caitlin's bangs out of her eyes and smiled down at her. "You can invite Marina if you like. Alex is bringing Daisy. Isaac will be there. What do you think?"

Caitlin sighed. She guessed there were worse things than spending the evening in a yard full of people you loved eating burgers and ice cream. "Okay" she said. "I'll try."

Alex was easier to convince. He looked relieved to have the distraction of entertaining guests to save him from sitting alone in his room getting more and more worried about tomorrow. "I better iron a shirt" he said, and smiled warmly at his mother.

Maya knew he was feeling all the anxiety and fear the rest of them were, but didn't show it as clearly as they did. She trusted that her son would let her know if he had any questions or needed to talk, but Maya wasn't worried about him the same way she was about Caitlin, or especially Jack.

She found Jack in their bedroom, fresh from the shower, pulling clothes from the closet. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"Are the kids alright with this? Maybe we should have checked with them first."

Maya breathed in his scent and closed her eyes. "Alex is fine. Caity… We might need to keep an eye on her."

Jack sighed. He felt bad, but he needed this. An evening of laughter and friendship and fun before tomorrow. If his sensitive little girl had her way, they'd spend the evening sitting in silence thinking about what was happening and Jack couldn't live like that.

Maya felt him tense. "Don't worry about her, she'll be alright."

The tension in Jack's shoulders didn't leave. If anything, it grew worse. Maya moved so she was facing him and lay her hands on his bare chest. "What is it? Tell me."

"I hate this" he said. "I hate what this is doing and will do to you and the kids. I can handle it, but I can't handle what it will do to you."

Maya shook her head. Jack had spent so much of his life being alone, after all this time he still couldn't fully accept that there were people who cared about him wholeheartedly. "You told me once that when I cared about someone, I cared about them with every piece of myself. Do you remember that?"

They were sitting on the deck of Dean's houseboat after a long shift. It was before their relationship was out in the open, when it was still brand new. Jack would never forget the look in Maya's eyes after he'd said all those things about her. Jack recognised that as the moment when he really started to fall in love with Maya Bishop and thought perhaps that was the moment for her too.

"I remember."

"Well, you were right and nothing has changed. And both our children have those qualities too. So you can stop with the guilt right now. We're all here for you, one hundred percent. It's our choice. Okay?"

Jack nodded. "Okay."

Maya looked into Jack's eyes. He wouldn't return her gaze at first, still unable or unwilling to believe that her love and the love of their children was unconditional. But Maya wasn't worried. She wasn't going anywhere and would do whatever she could to make Jack believe eventually. She knew he knew, but the events of today would lead anyone to question all they knew about their life. Eventually she brushed Jack's chin with her hand and smiled when he finally looked at her.

Jack kissed Maya on the forehead and she closed her eyes. She could stay there all evening but their nearest and dearest friends would soon be descending on their house and she had food prep to do.

"I should get downstairs" she said, but made no attempt to move. "And you should get a shirt on and come and help set up."

Jack's fingers brushed the back of Maya's neck. "Thank you" he said. "For doing this for me. I know you'd rather be alone."

"No" Maya said a bit too quickly for it to be true, but the next thing she said was most definitely the truth. "I want you to be happy."

* * *

Montgomery and Miller were the first to arrive. Jack opened the door. It had been the first time he'd seen his closest friends since his diagnosis and steeled himself for the looks of pity he'd be confronted with and they didn't disappoint.

"Hey" Dean said with forced brightness. Travis couldn't speak, just handed Jack the cake box he was carrying instead.

"Alright" Jack said, stepping aside so they could enter. "Two minutes. You get two minutes to say whatever's on your mind about… Well, about that. But the that's it. I love you guys but if you spend the whole evening looking at me the way you're looking at me now I'm going to lose my mind."

"I'm sorry, man" Dean said. He clapped Jack on the arm and took a deep breath. "We're all here for you, you know that right? You, Maya, the kids, whatever you need."

Travis opened his mouth to say something similar but no words came out. Instead he threw his arms around Jack in a slightly awkward but nevertheless sincere hug and almost squashed the chocolate cake he'd driven across town to pick up from Jack's favourite bakery before it closed.

Jack awkwardly accepted the affection, but it wasn't exactly comfortable for him. Dean saw the look on his face and pulled Travis off him. "Steady, you'll crush the cake."

"Guys, I'll be okay. Alright? We will all be okay. Can I get you a beer?"

"Sure." Dean followed Jack into the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder at Travis standing on the doormat still holding the cake and shot him a meaningful look. Travis blinked, snapping out of the dark place his mind wandered to and followed.

On the patio, Alex was on cooking duty and was placing burgers on the grill with a sizzle. Daisy sat on the wall watching him. "You look cute in an apron" she said, smiling.

Alex gave a theatrical bow. "Why thank you. You look pretty cute yourself."

"Where's Caitlin?"

Alex sighed and glanced up at his sister's bedroom window. "She's hiding. I think she's taking all this pretty hard."

Daisy hopped off the wall and went to her boyfriend. "And you're not?" Alex only shrugged. "Do you want me to go and talk to her?"

Alex shook his head. "Give her a little while longer. She'll come down when she's ready."

"Hello hello" Sullivan greeted as he walked onto the back porch. From the patio table, the Station 19 squad raised their drinks in greeting. "Something smells good."

"Hi Uncle Sully" Alex said. "Burgers on the way."

The smile Andy gave Alex when she came outside too was so full of understanding and love that it made him want to cry. He put down the spatula and went to her for a hug.

"Hi kiddo. How's it going?"

"You know" Alex said over her shoulder. "The usual."

Andy squeezed him tight. Alex and Caitlin were not her children but she had known them their whole lives and loved them like they were. "If there's anything I can do, just tell me. Promise?"

Alex released their embrace and smiled. "Pinky promise."

Andy scanned the garden. "Let me go talk to your parents. I'll be back for one of those burgers though, they smell good. You better save me one."

Andy found Maya sitting on a bench at the other end of the garden. She was watching Jack as he sat at the table with Dean and Travis and the rest of the team. He was laughing and relaxed and if Maya tried hard enough she could fool herself into today was just another normal day. Andy sat down beside her without saying a word.

"Hey" Maya said. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course I'd be here" Andy said. She took Mayas hand and squeezed it, and looked over at Jack too. "I don't know what to say to him" Andy said. "I'm sorry, I know this isn't about me, it's just… I can't believe this is happening." Andy shook her head. "I'll suck it up. You guys need me and I intend to be there for you and Jack and the kids."

Maya closed her eyes. "I've been telling Jack for days he can lean on me, that I can hold this family together, but what if I'm wrong? What if I'm not strong enough?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course you are. You're the toughest person I know. You've got this, Maya. I believe in you."

* * *

Isaac ran back in the house to get something from his backpack by the front door, but he stopped when he happened to glance to his left and saw Caitlin sitting at the top of the stairs looking forlorn. Jasper was sat beside her looking equally dejected and she was scratching his ear and staring into space. Isaac watched her for a moment, from one end of the staircase to the other, struggling to find the words to say.

In the end it was Caitlin who spoke first. "Hi squirt" she said. "Are you going to stare at me all day?"

Isaac started to climb the stairs. "You haven't called me that since I was in second grade" he said.

"Not to your face."

Caitlin sat with her knees pulled into her chest and her chin resting on her hands. She looked drained. Isaac sat down beside her.

"Do you want a burger?"

"I don't think I could eat anything. I'm not really feeling up to company either."

"Want me to leave you alone?"

Caitlin looked over at the worried, slightly hurt look on Isaac's face and sighed. "Course not." She wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into a friendly headlock.

He struggled free and pushed her away then they both sat in silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry your Dad's sick" Isaac said. "It really really sucks."

"Yeah, it really really does" Caitlin agreed. "You know he starts chemo tomorrow?"

Isaac nodded. "My Mom told me."

"This barbeque was supposed to be a last hurrah before the treatment, kind of. Everyone's out there laughing and joking but I don't have it in me. Dad wanted this and I'm letting him down."

Isaac frowned. "I don't think that's true."

"Hey, there you are." Alex swung around the corner still in his apron with Daisy in tow. "Burgers are almost ready. Is Marina coming? There'll be no food left if she doesn't hurry up."

"No" Caitlin said. "Because I didn't invite her."

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Daisy asked. "About your Dad?"

Alex looked between his girlfriend and his sister and knew that it was true. "Caitlin, she's your best friend. She'd want to be there for you."

"I can't deal with her right now."

Daisy let go of Alex's hand and began to climb the stairs. "I know Marina can be a bit much, but she would want to be there for you. She can be serious when she needs to be." Caitlin was quiet. She really did look like she could use all the support she could get. "I have my car. I can drive over and get her?"

Caitlin nodded slowly. "Thank you. I know I'm being silly."

"No you're not." Alex spoke up, and took the stairs two at a time to sit down on Caitlin's other side. He put both his arms around his sister and gave her a bear hug. "It's going to be hard, but as long as we're there for each other, all of us, we will get through it. You need your best friend." Alex smirked, "I mean your other best friend."

Daisy smiled at her boyfriend as she fished her car keys out of her pocket. "I'll be fifteen minutes" she said. "Save me a burger."

* * *

The sun was going down but everyone was still having fun and laughter filled the air. Jack was taking a moment to himself on the bench at the end of the garden. He surveyed the scene and thanked his lucky stars that there were so many people in his life and he had no doubt in his heart that each and every one of them would be there for him and his family through all this. He watched Caitlin deep in conversation with her best friend, and smiled even though he could see she had been crying. They embraced, and Jack let out a relieved sigh. Relief that she was confiding in someone, he knew it wasn't easy for her, she took after him in that respect.

He watched Alex and Daisy over by the barbeque feeding each other toasted marshmallows. He couldn't see Maya or Andy and imagined they were inside at the kitchen island, a bottle of red wine between them. As long as his family had people to lean on and each other, she knew they would be okay. Whatever happened to him.

Jack would never speak that thought out loud, especially not to Maya. She would chastise him for thinking that way and reiterate with absolute certainty in the way only she could that he was going to be fine, and he would almost believe her.

Jack closed his eyes for a moment, revelling in the sounds and smells that surrounded him, and when he opened them again Maya was beside him.

"Are you tired?" she asked, "want me to kick everyone out?"

This mischievous look on her face made Jack smile and he put his arm out, inviting her in for a hug. "No, I'm okay. I'm enjoying myself."

It was nice, not thinking about what was to come tomorrow. They'd both heard all that the oncologist had to say and read all the leaflets he gave them. Maya knew as well as Jack at this point how hard tomorrow was going to be but by their earlier agreement they didn't talk about it, that was one of the rules. They just sat there, at the end of their garden, Maya's head resting on Jack's shoulder, and enjoyed the calm before the storm.


End file.
